R.I.P Angelina Jolie's Breasts.

I got some pretty bad news late yesterday afternoon. Angelina Jolie has revealed that she had a double mastectomy after discovering there was an 87% chance she would get breast cancer. Needless to say this is a day my penis won't soon forget. When he heard the news he got real quiet. He put his coat on and walked around town, lost in thought, absentmindely kicking a can down the sidewalk. He then went and fed some ducks at the park. Last I saw him he was at the beach, sitting on some rocks, watching the sun go down and trying to make sense of all this. It's times like these where we find out what we're made of, my friends.