Anastasia Ashley's Got Back

You could reasonably make the argument that there’s more pictures of Anastasia Ashley‘s butt than there are pictures of cats online, and that’s cool, because cats don't have a butt like Anastasia Ashley's. Cats don’t really have butts but rather an asshole that they’ll gladly show you at any time. Another difference is that cats aren’t sexually attractive at all unless you’re a pharaoh and I don’t think those exist anymore. I find that people find dogs more sexually attractive, especially in Florida. I guess my point here is that here’s a bunch of pictures of Anastasia Ashley’s butt. Not really why you’re still reading all this.

Good Golly, Anna Kendrick!

Anna Kendrick is in some magazine that I didn't bother to look up the name of. But most importantly, she is wearing short shorts and is all legs. I’m not going to go into too much detail what I’d do to her ass, but it would look worse that Baltimore after about 20 minutes. That includes the 10 minute break in between. 

Charlotte McKinney Is New Here

I don’t know when Charlotte McKinney did this shoot for Guess. It might be old. But here’s the thing:  it’s new to me and I haven’t seen her massive tits in this bra before, so I’m posting it. I hope that’s okay with all of you. If not, you go back out to your kale garden or writing Sam Smith fan fiction because you’re obviously a huge fag. Sorry about that. That was insensitive. It gets better. lol no it doesn’t, life sucks most of the time and you just wasted part of your life commenting on a celebrity gossip site.

A Little Something For The Ladies.

Chris Hemsworth was named People’s Sexiest Man Alive, which is weird because Adam Levine was named People’s Sexiest Man Alive last year and he’s still alive. So is Channing Tatum who they said was the sexiest man alive in 2012, so I guess I’m not familiar with the rules here. But yeah, here’s Chris Hemsworth on the cover. I really wish the media would stop perpetuating unrealistic views and limiting perceptions of men with their “Thor myth” and promoting cultural and gender stereotypes where every man has perfect genes and fantastic hair. lol jk congrats, Chris. 

Nina Agdal Makes Things Better.

Dude, what was up with last week? Suicide, depression, people needing further information that 9/11 wasn’t a massive government conspiracy or that the murdered Sandy Hook children existed at all but have no problem believing that an unarmed black man deserved to be shot three times in the face, and people wasting drinking water for charity. Shit got crazy. So, for today, I just downloaded the first pics of a chick in a bikini I saw. In this case, it’s Nina Agdal at the Encore Beach Club in Wynn in Vegas on Saturday.  This world is a scary, shitty place sometimes, but when you’re at your darkest moments, please remember that chicks with huge boobs exist.

Ibiza Sounds Like An Okay Place.

Thanks to some internet stalking  casual web browsing I did this morning on Twitter and Instagram, I discovered that all four of  my favourite page 3 models (Courtnie Quinlan, Lacey Banghard, Rosie Jones and India Reynolds) are all currently in Ibiza, Spain. I never knew that place was such a hotspot until everyone in Hollywood started going there. If you don’t know, it’s actually an island about 30 miles off the eastern shore of Spain in the Mediterranean Sea. Their history dates all the way back to 650 BC, when Phoenician settlers founded a port there and used it’s natural resources to produce dye, salt, and wool.

If you’d like to learn more about Ibiza, you’re a nerd and should probably go to some other site. Look at these ladies for gods sake. Maybe you can find a website that has sexy pictures of books since you love em so much, dork.

WTF ANNA!

The completely perfect Anna Kendrick attended the MET Gala the other night with whoever the fuck this goof is. This dude doesn't even really do anything, yet he snared the hottest piece of ass on earth, making this the biggest upset since I won that no-rules, underground MMA tournament in Thailand last year.  With that in mind, you might think I'd begrudgingly give him the respect he's clearly earned.  Yet, look, here I am, telling him to go fuck himself.

Maitland Made Every Nerds Day

I'm a terrible white person because the three things I dislike the most are: The Beatles, hockey and Star Wars. Maitland Ward of 'Boy Meets World' fame is making me reconsider one of those things. I'm not going to lie, this could have been an add for penis reduction cream and I would have paused just for a second before clicking to submit my order. 

I Heart Irina Shayk

Irina Shayk is a Russian supermodel who looks like a cartoon villain come to life. Here she is in Hawaii doing photo shoot for SI. And it's hard not to notice that she can't keep her hands off her breasts.  Not that I blame her.  I would be all over myself if I was a girl too.  And I'd use my vagina to hide things like snacks for the movie theatre or my house keys if I was going for a walk.  You chicks have it made, you're like sexy kangaroos. 

Alessandra Is Here To Help

Supermodel Alessandra Ambrosio attended the Race to Erase MS event over the weekend. It's always a good thing when a celebrity can lend their fame to stuff like this to help raise money and awareness. However, if I were the organizers of this event, I'd be a little concered. Alessandra is a model, not a doctor. There's always that chance her lecture on Multiple Sclerosis will consist of her vision of a world that has only one Sclerosis.

Fuck You, Donald Sterling!

I love basketball and hate racists, so it really pissed me off this week when Donald Sterling was exposed as giant racist, dirt bag.  Here's a life hack: Be good to each other always. Regardless of skin colour, sexual preference, gender, religion, rich or poor....BE GOOD TO EACH OTHER! 

My sexy website got real serious there for a minute so here's Nina Agdal to make it better. If you're like me, you're extremely surprised that she and I aren't dating yet.  I've written her several times, but I don't know if she's gotten my letters because those smart-asses at the Post Office claim "Boobs" is not a real address. It would have been nice had they mentioned that before I spent 98 dollars on postage. Maybe I didn't have to mail every single picture I drew of me and Nina flying over a rainbow on a Unicorn, but the discerning eye will notice that in some of the pictures the Unicorn is white, while in others its silver. And in one I braided his mane, and in another we’re actually on a dolphin.