Oh Hey, Courtnie!

Super hot Page 3 model Courtnie Quinlan tweeted out this picture of her signing some Page 3 calendars, but you should double check her math if you plan to use it because models aren’t really great with numbers. For example, my Playboy calendar says today is Swimuary 43rd. That can’t be right. And since when is Halloween in Partyember?

Katy Perry Has A New Perfume

 These are just pictures from a couple of weeks ago and aren’t news in any way, unless you consider hot girls with huge breasts to be news, which I very very much do. She and her gorgeous tits make a really effective marketing team. After seeing these pictures I went and bought a whole case of this stuff. I only drank one though. To be honest it tasted terrible. Maybe you’re supposed to shoot it, I don’t know. I’ll try again after lunch.

The Chupacabra Is Back On Marcy. Sorry.

You could live to a hundred and travel the world and never see anyone less sexy than Lady GaGa, yet I’m still strangely compelled to stare at her tits.  Being a dude really sucks.

Welcome To Marcy, Kendall

This week sure has been surprising, and not just because of summers unplanned pregnancies that I’m only hearing about now and need to deal with (time to move!) But also because Kendall Jenner turned 18. This is no coincidence because years ending in 13 require a renewed blood oath to the Dark Lord, aka Kris Jenner. She's unstoppable now and her empire will reign forever!!!  So, how long until Kendall goes topless? I ain't got all day... 

Marcy Does The CMA's

Last night was the Rhinestone Music Awards, and I don’t know anything about country music, and I didn’t look up who won. I should really stop telling people that Marcy is your Country Music Award Show Headquarters. But if you came here for that, I guess, Garth … Brooks. Does he still do this stuff? He won, let’s say, I don’t know, five. He won five. And, uh, Conway Twitty won … Best Music. Him and Jerry Reed. For their song about … bbq pork. There. That was todays Country Music Minute. All I know for sure is that Carrie Underwood is really, really, really pretty. The End.

Nina Agdal In Her Underwear. Happy Monday!

I’ve never heard of  Bare Necessities lingerie, so they fixed the hell out of that by taking pictures of Nina Agdal in a bra and panties. These pictures are so great that when I got to the end I was very sad and started to cry, and then my mom took me to Dairy Queen and got me a blizzard to cheer me up.