Kate Upton Is Off The Market

 Is there some shortage of sexy Hollywood hunks I don’t know about? Based on what my mirror told me this morning, no, things are going just fine. And yet physically perfect Kate Upton is dating this loser, who according to People used to be on 'Dancing With The Stars' and is "very serious" with Kate. Pffft! Whatever, button up your shirt, asshole. I guess being a fancy-boy-dancer is enough now to pull one of the hottest supermodels around. Just between me and you, pulling girls over with a fake police badge works pretty good too.